Worst humiliation ever.
Sometimes it doesn’t take many people to know for you to
feel your worst humiliation, it’s just the feeling that others know these
intimate extremely embarrassing details about your sex life or lack of it. In
my case, I only know for sure of four people, including myself, who are aware
of these circumstances and one of them was only an active party to my ultimate
humiliation.
We all have episodes in our lives where we want the details
to remain secret for all time! If someone else is involved then we hope they
will respect our privacy and keep those memories to themselves. However as
often is the case, you learn later that they shared those moments with others.
I’ll begin by recapping that I was dragged into a life of
cuckoldry, unsuspecting and in ignorance for the first 5 years of my marriage, her
indiscretions began long before our wedding day, in some ways they began from
our first few dates. It took us 18 months to progress to my losing my
virginity, I believed we were both virgins up until that moment, it was so
obvious it was far from her first time, yet it was her who had made me wait so
long because she was supposed to be a virgin too! In hindsight I learned that
she’d lost her cherry some 3 years earlier and had continued to have sex with
others during our first 18 months together, so I suppose you could say I was
well warned of her cheating nature long before I married her. That cheating
nature has continued throughout all our relationship, engagement and marriage.
In fact the guy who was doing her 2-3 times a month for those first 18 months
(her boyfriend immediately before me) did her bareback as her last hurrah in
the early hours of our wedding day. So again we didn’t have sex on our wedding
night because her bridal knickers were still so stained from his cum. In fact
we didn’t have sex until midway through the second week of our honeymoon, which
was one of only 4 times we had sex in the first year of our marriage, twice in
the second and only once in the third before she forced me into total celibacy.
So up until I first learned I was a cuckold, some 5 years into the marriage and
over two years for me without sex, she’d parted her legs a grand total of 7
times for me as my wife. I’ll list those 7 times for you, they are very easy to
remember. Year one – once on honeymoon, my birthday, her birthday, anniversary.
Year two – my birthday, our anniversary. Year three – my birthday.
Most of what I have learned from those early years of
cuckoldry came from revelations from her either through arguments where she
lost her temper and let go at me with the truth from the past or it came during
counselling sessions we needed to help us stay together. Our first counselling
came after 7 years but was too short to reveal much and it wasn’t until our
second counselling and sex therapy sessions some further eight years into the
marriage before most of this knowledge was shared with our counsellor and so I
too learned what really had been going on in my wife’s life for the almost 20
years since I first met her. Everything came to a head one night I came home
from work and she was sitting on the couch in full sexual regalia. Black bustier, sheer
black panties, sheer black hose attached to the suspender strap of the bustier
and black patent high heels. She said she wanted to give things one last try
and asked me to make love to her. We kissed and cuddled until she told me to
ride her which I did then she sat back and told me she had got no enjoyment
from it whatsoever, she had hoped if she’d set this all up and was all dressed
up and gave me this time then she’d have some pleasure from sex with me but she
told me she got nothing from it or my little cock. I asked her how often she
enjoyed sex with others, she said almost always, I asked her how often she came
with others, she said if they were real men then she usually came at least
once, often much more often, that was why we needed to seek professional help.
If we were to save our marriage, all the other parts were good, but sexually I
was a waste of space. She felt guilty denying me all the time but she’d got
tired trying to get something from it a long time ago.
It’s as a result of these second counselling sessions where
my real humiliation begins. It was here my wife revealed the reason she had had
so little sex with me, she told our counsellor my cock was too small for her to
enjoy sex and that 99.9% of the times she had allowed me to enter her, she lay
just hoping I’d cum and roll off. When our female counsellor asked about
foreplay, thinking that might be a factor, my wife, to my chagrin, admitted
that many years before she’d asked me to stop getting her aroused before we had
sex. She admitted she didn’t need to be wet for my small cock to enter her and
the times she used to allow me to get her aroused she ended up feeling so
cheated and frustrated after I’d cum. By not allowing foreplay she was able to
just turn over and go to sleep without feeling sexually cheated. She knew she’d
get her sexual satisfaction from others so she preferred to avoid sex with me
by using any excuse that worked. She admitted that while it hurt me hurt me so
much, it was just how she felt about sex with me. I told our counsellor, that
there had never been an occasion when, while kissing my wife, I put my hand on
her leg, my wife didn’t close them tightly together. But I knew with other men
- the same action resulted in her parting her legs wide. My wife was blunt and
said that was because she never felt like having sex with me but she wanted to
part her legs for those men because she wanted them to have her, so she gave
them as much access between her legs as they wanted. The fact our counsellor
was female, made these admissions by my wife all the more humiliating for me.
At times the sessions would also denigrate to slanging matches between my wife
and myself as to whose fault our sexless marriage was and it was during one of
those vicious exchanges that the secret I hoped would never be aired was shared
with our counsellor by wife.
By way of justification for all her years of adultery and
cuckoldry, she said that she wasn’t the only one who thought I was a waste of
space as a lover and went on to tell the circumstances of the only other sexual
experience I had up until that point in my life – Helen was my wife’s best
friend back then and had been since they were children. She fully knew Karen
was cheating on me from the very beginning and had covered for her many times
over the years, yet at the time it was Helen who made the move to have me,
though it did feel very much like a mercy fuck rather than a serious attempt to
seduce me. Helen chose an evening she knew Karen was away overnight and called
to check I was alright! She had a couple of glasses of wine and we ended up
kissing. I’d never cheated on Karen before or had any lover other than my wife,
the few occasions before I became involved with Karen had ended up either as
premature ejaculation and I couldn’t get it hard again or I couldn’t keep it
hard long enough to get it in to the few girls willing to let me try. So I was
surprized that Helen started to undress as we kissed, I was aware how much she
knew about my sexual naivety but when I saw her offering herself ‘on a plate’
and Karen hadn’t let me have sex with her for over 3 years, I was eager to have
my second sexual partner. Helen was a lot taller than Karen but her pussy was
so much tighter than my wife’s, which meant it was with real feeling and such
wonderful sensations I entered her. It was the BEST sex I’d ever had and it
took me all the more by surprize when Helen said to me that she wasn’t getting
anything from it. I moved position a little, hoping that the change would cause
her to get more friction from my cock and more pleasure … but a very short time
later she asked me to stop, to get off as she just didn’t want me to ride her
any longer. I was MORTIFIED!!!!!!! I tried to keep riding her as it was so good
for me but she closed her legs tight together which squirted me out of her
pussy and insisted I get off her as she really wasn’t getting anything from my
tiny cock, she’d made a mistake and wanted it over- now! By this time I had
shrivelled up anyway, so I rolled off and started dressing as she did too. Once
she had, she got up and left without saying another word. I assumed she would
never say to anyone – I mean I really hoped no one else would EVER hear of
this. I’ve had girls stop before it got to full sex, I know women regret having
sex after it’s over but for someone to actually ask you to stop during sex
because it was so bad for them is so humiliating I never wanted another soul to
ever know what Helen had done to me. Instead of it being forgotten here was my
wife bringing the whole thing up. Obviously Helen had told her about the whole
sorry episode, I also wondered who else she or my wife had told about it. A few
minutes in my life that I wanted no one else to be aware of was now being told
to this woman by my wife as a major reason why she had continuously cuckolded
me throughout our marriage and why she would continue to need other men for her
sexual satisfaction as she never had or never would enjoy sex with me.
